


Off The Handle

by spaced_out1113



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Meteorstuck, Mild Blood, Minor Violence, Mutual Pining, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), only for one section
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 08:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18961915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaced_out1113/pseuds/spaced_out1113
Summary: In Which The Shouty Troll Acts Strange For A Certain Period Of Time, Prompting The Human Rap Master and Knight of Time To Question Him And Feelings Ensue. Excessive and Ridiculous Pining Follows, Leading To More Talks and More FeelingsOr one of the many stories in which Dave and Karkat grow closer on the three-year meteor journey they and their companions take. This one in particular focuses on a reality where, as stated above, Karkat has been avoiding Dave for several days and Dave is determined to figure out why.





	Off The Handle

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first Homestuck fic so I hope you all enjoy! I've been sitting on this idea for a while but I finally got it all on paper so here it is. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Please give my beta AaronAlive some love! He's an amazing writer and rolls with all my bullshit lmao
> 
> TW: mentioned in the tags, but there is mild violence and blood about halfway through this fic. stay safe!

Your name is Dave Strider, Knight of Time, music mixing extraordinaire, and you have no idea what is going on with your shouty best bro. He’s been acting fishy lately, ever since he woke up from a weird dreambubble he didn’t tell you the details of.

The two of you had been pretty much cuddling while watching one of his favorite movies (troll Hitch, you believe) on his favorite couch before he ended up passing out toward the end. You were also practically sprawled on him like a fuckin’ lap dog. Getting all cozy and shit in his grill without really asking, but then again you never really ask either way and it’s not like he was complaining.

Anyway, when he fell asleep you were basically forced to spend the entirety of his nap by his side. And by forced you mean if you tried to move he’d hold you down and grumble in his sleep, leaving you no choice but to remain where you were.

You don’t remember falling asleep, but the next thing you knew you were jolted awake by Karkat sitting up straight, breathing like he’d just run a 5k without taking a break for air or water. Which you don’t think is that particularly fun. 

Since you’d woken up almost immediately after he had, you were able to comfort him until his breathing returned to normal. But the strangest thing happened afterward: when you offered to watch another rom com, Karkat said he wanted to go to his room. He took his husktop with him, leaving you to your own devices for a few hours.

Those few hours had now become several days of zero contact with Karkat Vantas. He sure is a hard-to-reach troll when he wants to be. But you’ve wrangled every last bit of dopamine out of all the other possible activities you could be doing right now within the first few days and now you’re absolutely positively infinitesimally bored. You’ve even begun seeking out a few of Karkat’s shitty troll romance novels because you’re just that bored and have nothing better to do and. They remind you of him.

You think several days is good enough for whatever weird coming-of-age trope thing Karkat’s dealing with right now but you don’t really want to bother him. You figure you should let him deal with this on his own, since he’s already trying to do that anyway. Which leads to you being bored the fuck out of your mind. And honestly, you just miss your best bro. You’ve been miserable since Karkat retreated into his room with no sign of exit or entry. Which you surely wouldn’t know because you definitely didn’t spend most of your huge spans of alone time hanging out in the hallway to his room to see if he’d leave at some point.

You’ve tried hanging out with Rose or Terezi, but both girls seem to be on their own schedules and preoccupied with their own people. That and when you managed to hang out with either of them, you spent most of the time worrying about Karkat. Which probably isn’t very healthy now that you think about it. It’s just that the two of you were basically inseparable until now. The six of you (you aren’t counting the fucking juggalo) had split into pairs over the course of the first year and you really feel like you’re missing your other half. Jesus fuck, when did you get so damn sappy?

God, you miss him. He’s been at your side for most of the journey, providing loud commentary on your raps, music, and comics, getting into long-winded conversations where you try to beat each other with the wildest metaphors and euphemisms you can think of, helping the Mayor build Can Town along with the resulting shenanigans that ensue, and watching shitty movies on his (now yours too) favorite couch and getting into such deep conversations about everything. Just, fuck. It’s like there’s a hole in your life right now. And you hate it. Oh, you hate it. You want this shit Karkat’s dealing with to end so you can go back to hanging out with him again, only you’d never fucking leave his side. Gotta make up for the missed hours with him somehow.

When you finally see him again, you’re trying to decide between mixing some more music or making another sbahj comic with little success. It’s like trying to pick the lesser of two evils here.

Anyway you’re sitting at the table in the room designated by everyone to be the kitchen, fucking around on your computer because you have nothing better to do. You almost don’t notice him because you’re so focused on not promptly dying of boredom. When you stop muttering to yourself and lift your eyes from the screen, you see Karkat. And he’s looking at you too. You can’t tell what expression is on his face and you aren’t too ecstatic about that. Normally he’s an open book and his behavior is making you even more worried now.

You immediately stand up. “Uh, hey.” Fuck, that’s all you have to say?

He turns back to the coffee machine, placing his mug on the platform (the “don’t bother me, I’m crabby” one you made him last year) and pushing the brew button. “Hi,” he says simply, leaning against the counter as the coffee begins to pour slowly into his mug.

You awkwardly maneuver around the table’s bench and walk over. “Sup?” God, you are chock full of killer one word remarks, aren’t you?

Karkat shrugs. “Not much. You?”

You shrug too. “Same.”

The both of you then proceed to stand there in silence while the rest of the coffee pours into his mug. When the machine beeps, it’s like someone in your brain flipped a switch. “Hey, so do you wanna watch a movie or something?” He’d raised his mug to his lips and taken a sip of the still-hot bean juice and was now eyeing you with the same expression as before. You immediately panic and try to fix the situation. “I mean, it’s been a few days and I’m bored the fuck out of my mind and I don’t know dude, I wanna hang out with you, is that too much to ask, Jesus.” You continue on your tangent for another couple minutes or so before Karkat seems to grow tired of your bullshit and raises a hand to stop you. You clamp your jaws shut immediately.

“Not that I needed your over exaggerated, mindless rambling explanations or anything, but yeah, sure,” he says before taking another sip of his coffee and heading out of the kitchen. Not wanting to lose him, you turn and quickly captchalogue your laptop (well, Terezi’s laptop that you kind of took over), then run after him. He hasn’t gotten very far, but again. You don’t want to lose him. Also you now have an irrational fear that if he was out of your sight for a moment he’d disappear into his room again. Not that that’s a problem for you, though. Just another thought for you to shove to the back of your mind so it never sees the light of day again.

“Soo, what’d you want to watch? Hitch? Fifty First Dates? Serendipity? Do you have another romcom that we haven’t seen for the billionth time since we’ve been on this fucking rock or are we just gonna marathon all the ones we’ve seen like a couple of douchebags? Will we just chug 5 hour energies until our eyes are bloodshot from all the caffeine coursing through our systems? And then promptly pass out two movies in due to us falling off the cliff that is caffeine crash? Said cliff would just shake in utter disbelief at our stupidity for even thinking about drinking all those energies. Dude, how weird is it that you can drink so many 5-hour energies, like rack up the hours to like 50 but then ten hours later you immediately feel like shit, that makes no sense. Also poor marketing on the company’s part for saying that each one actually lasts five hours, like that is some serious horseshit. Also isn’t it stupid how caffeine even makes you crash, what kind of useless fucking-”

“DAVE, SHUT UP FOR A GODDAMN SECOND, HOLY FUCK!!” Karkat screams at the top of his lungs. You jump, eyes wide, and stare at him. Oh fuck, your mouth just doesn’t know when to stop, huh. Karkat presses his thumb and forefinger onto his forehead, looking absolutely done with you. Fuck, oh god, already, he can’t leave you again, it’s not fair- “We can watch Princess Bride if you want,” he says, dragging his hand down his face to look at you. “I don’t really know what other movies I have besides the ones we’ve already seen, but you seem to like that one so I say we watch that.”

You can’t help it. Your face pulls into a huge grin. You can feel your cheeks starting to hurt already. “Alright, sweet. Let’s do this.” With that, you follow him down the hall to his and your favorite couch to watch the fuck out of this movie.

\---

Let’s cut to the chase and say you absolutely did not watch the fuck out of this movie. You mean, the watching is happening and the movie is half over now, but Karkat…. Karkat is keeping his distance. Usually the two of you are all in each other’s space by now. But not today. Karkat hasn’t made any effort to be next to you. You’ve been inching closer, taking up more and more space by him but he keeps scooting further and further against the other side of the couch. He’s basically being swallowed by the cushions now. With a sigh, you give up and throw your feet up to rest along the back of the couch. The movie continues on.

\---

It’s the next day and the both of you have hit up Can Town for community service hours. Well, you’re caught up but Karkat is far behind on his and you offered to help him. He’s stacking cans further off while you’re sketching bushes and trees on the more completed parts of the town. Gotta keep the landscape looking like a goddamn aesthetic. Also things tend to be brushed off by you and Karkat so the Mayor decided the responsibility to replace the vegetation rested on your shoulders.

When you glance up to check on Karkat, you see that he’s been building quite a lot. He’s onto the next set of buildings, sketching the outline of several squares and rectangles with white chalk. Oh, you can’t have that grid shit here. Smirking to yourself, you carefully float a few inches off the ground and move over toward him. He doesn’t suspect a thing. You gently lower yourself to the ground so you’re next to him.

“Dude, what are you doing, we can’t just have boring old buildings like these here,” is all the warning Karkat has before you grab the hand holding the chalk and swerve it toward an open spot. Giant dick, here you come. Karkat growls as you do so, and as you drag the chalk back toward the both of you, he sees where you’re going with this. 

“Oh hell fucking no,” he says loudly, then immediately tries to shove your hand back up on the curve you made. It takes about 0.35 seconds for all hell to break loose, where you’re trying to complete your giant dick while Karkat yells obscenities in your ear and does his best to redirect your sketch. But he can’t stop the dick. 

You whoop in victory when the first giant dick is shakily completed, then you lean to the left to start another one. Karkat just screeches like he’s just been violently shanked by Bec Noir himself and attempts to shove you away with all his might, which isn’t as successful as he’d planned. You throw your other arm around his neck in order to gain leverage. “Nothing can stop the dicks now, Karkat, they’re invading your hive house thingy and are just making themselves right at home in there. Not in a good way though, in a bad way. They’re knocking stuff over, rummaging through your pantry, eating all your food, tearing your couches apart. There’s nothing you can do, they’re there now, fucking up your life one way or another. Better get used to these dicks dude, they-” 

Once again, Karkat screeches with more fervor and yanks your hand to the side and forming a straight line from where you were drawing the tip of the second dick. You suppress a smile. You can make this work, just gotta use a little artistic agency and it’ll be a dick. A griddick, you could say.

You’re about to complete said griddick when the Mayor comes running at you waving his arms around wildly. You glance up at him while you’re still holding Karkat in a chokehold, his arms flailing all over the place as he tries unsuccessfully to escape. “What’s wrong, little dude? Are we getting too rough?” He points to the buildings you and Karkat are dangerously close to knocking over and you see what he’s trying to say. You release Karkat from your grip and stand up on your knees. “Sorry Mayor, just having a little fun here is all.” You playfully shove Karkat with your shoulder, smiling at him.

But he just turns to glare at you with daggers as pointy as Terezi’s teeth and your smile literally evaporates off your face. “I swear to God, can you just leave me alone for five minutes?? Or is that too much work for you, Strider???”

You freeze. Oh, wow, back on last name basis then, huh? What the fuck was that all about. You decide that’s a can of worms you don’t want to open right now so you decide to shut the fuck up and go back to drawing your trees. You have no idea what the fuck just happened. You guys do this shit all the time, at least you did before Karkat had taken an extended vacation from life to do whatever he did in his room. You are so confused now, did you do something wrong? Did you go too far? You worry even more that you did. Maybe you should just leave him alone for a bit longer, so he can get the rest of his shit together. God just, what did you do? It makes no sense, fucking shit-

“Dave.”

You turn to look at him. “Sup.”

“You’re talking to yourself again.”

Fuck, right. “Sorry.”

\---

A couple days later, you and Karkat are hanging out in a random room while you’re mixing some new music. You feel a lot better about attempting to make music now that Karkat is here to provide input on your tracks and sick beats. He’s sitting a little ways from you, waist deep in one of his smutty troll novels that you like to tease him for reading. 

Once you figure out a track that seems pretty nice to you, you pull your headphones off so they hang around your neck. “Hey, Karkat.”

“What,” he answers, not looking up from the pages of his book. 

“Wanna take a listen to this? I think you’re gonna like it.”

He sighs. “Fine, okay.”

You smile to yourself, unplugging your headphones from the audio jack and start the track from the beginning. You can’t help but begin to tap your fingers and bob your head slightly with the beat of the song. It’s getting to a good part when Karkat says, “Eh, it’s fine.”

You pause it, feeling something in your chest sink. “You don’t like it?”

Karkat looks at you from over his book’s pages. “I mean, it’s fine I guess, but there’s not much more to say on the matter.” With that, he buries his nose back in the book while you unceremoniously plug your headphones back in, minimize the audio file on the screen, and click on “New Song.”

\---

Okay you’ve decided you’ve had it up to here with Karkat’s bullshit. You don’t know why he’s been so distant and touchy and an asshole lately but you’re determined to find out. Your first source is Rose, who you begin pestering. You fall on your bed like a starfish, using your iShades to communicate.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

TG: hey rose do you know what the fucks been up with karkat  
TG: hes acting all kinds of moody and aggressive like he was when we first started talking over pesterchum during the game  
TG: i have no idea whats happening  
TG: or if i did something wrong  
TG: which is likely  
TG: do you have any advice or anything to help me with this because im done dealing with this shit  
TG: and im getting to the fucking bottom of it  
TT: I’m afraid I have not noticed any change of behavior in him. Perhaps you should ask Kanaya?  
TG: no way im not gonna go and vent my problems to your troll girlfriend when youre already talking to me  
TG: also i dont want her to know that i was asking about him  
TT: You do realize I’m going to tell her about this conversation regardless?  
TG: rose you better fucking not i stg  
TT: Oh?  
TT: What are you going to do about it?  
TG: stop talking to you for one

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

TG: goddammit you know what fuck this  
TG: im just gonna swallow my fuckin pride because i really do need help here  
TT: Knew it.  
TG: stfu  
TT: But go on.  
TG: so it started a couple weeks ago  
TG: we were watching a movie like we usually do and we ended up falling asleep  
TG: well he fell asleep first but i was basically trapped by him so dont read anything into it  
TT: The fact that you had to ask me not to read into the fact that you two slept together is only going to make me read into it more.  
TT: You know, you can talk to me about it.  
TG: jesus h christ why do you have to make it weird nothing happened  
TG: and theres nothing to talk about  
TG: besides this  
TT: Very well, carry on.  
TG: anyway so when he woke up he was really shaken by whatever dreambubble he was in  
TG: so i did the shooshing and the papping and he calmed down  
TG: but then when i asked if he wanted to watch another movie he said no and left  
TG: keep in mind he has never said no to a romcom at least in my experience  
TG: then he just  
TG: disappeared?  
TG: for a fucking week??  
TG: and he wouldnt talk to me or leave his room or anything  
TT: Ah, that explains why you were by yourself for that short stretch of time.  
TG: yeah  
TG: didnt feel too fuckin short tho  
TG: i was so worried about him and he just wouldn’t fucking talk to me  
TG: not even for a heads up or anything  
TG: did he even talk to anyone  
TG: i dont know if he even ate that shit isnt healthy  
TT: Says the guy who ate nothing but Doritos and apple juice for the first year.  
TG: that may be true  
TG: but ive branched out  
TT: Sure, whatever you say.  
TG: goddammit rose can you not keep your snark sealed in a jar for a damn second while im having a full blown crisis here  
TG: sorry im just  
TG: i dont know what im feeling anymore  
TT: It’s okay, Dave.  
TT: You were saying…?  
TG: oh right  
TG: so he did manage to leave his room and get some social interaction  
TG: because he came to the kitchen to make coffee while i was in there  
TG: and when i asked him if he wanted to watch a movie he said yes  
TG: so i thought everything was gonna be fine and dandy right  
TT: I’m going to assume everything wasn’t fine and dandy.  
TG: wrong  
TG: wait fuck you typed too fast  
TG: anyway so were watching the movie  
TG: and were about halfway through  
TG: usually by then were all cuddly and snuggled up together  
TG: and dont you fucking say a thing rose i swear to fuck  
TT: My lips are sealed, dear brother.  
TG: anyway but we werent  
TG: so i tried to move closer but he wasnt having it  
TG: like damn can a dude get some cuddles from his best bro or is that suddenly against the law now  
TG: then we were in can town and i was just fucking with him with some chalk and dicks and he fuckin dropped the s word on me  
TT: “S” word?  
TG: strider  
TT: Hmm. I see.  
TG: and i was like oh shit okay ill back off fuck  
TG: and then yesterday we were just chilling and i was mixing some new music  
TG: when i was done i asked for his opinion and he fucking blew me off  
TG: he didnt even look up from his book  
TT: What was it that he said?  
TG: i dont really remember but it wasn’t good  
TG: something about my music being shitty i think  
TT: Dave, I know for a fact that Karkat does not think your music is shitty. Your comics, yes, but not your music.  
TT: So I definitely agree that something is going on.  
TG: wow that was all you needed  
TG: i didnt have to open the floodgates of my emotional turmoil in order to get you to help me  
TG: this is stupid  
TT: No, I definitely would have made you tell me the rest of that.  
TG: fuck off rose  
TG: but actually dont im really worried and scared what if he doesnt want to be friends anymore and this is just his way of telling me  
TG: or maybe im overreacting and hes just being more rude than usual to break me out of it  
TG: type faster dammit  
TT: Sure thing, Dave. When you tell me about why you’re having these feelings of angst toward Karkat.  
TG: wont happen cause theres nothing there what are you talking about  
TT: I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about, Dave.  
TG: ugh  
TG: okay ive had enough of your shit today  
TG: im just trying to look out for my best bro here  
TG: i dont need you psychoanalyzing me at every turn  
TT: Very well.  
TT: You came to me for advice in this situation, correct?  
TG: yeah im dying over here  
TT: Well, I believe the answer is simple.  
TT: So simple in fact, that it can be applied to plenty of different scenarios, including yours. It’s foolproof, research-tested with high results of success.  
TT: But it’s also one you might not like.  
TT: This answer is  
TT: Just talk to him. It’s not that big of a deal.  
TG: oh rose as im sure you know it is a big deal  
TG: this big stupid emotional thing is the biggest big deal that have ever had to be a big deal here  
TG: like how tf am i supposed to bring it up i cant do this shit on my own  
TT: Dave, the best way to nurture a relationship is communication. Even if it’s painfully awkward and seems pointless.  
TT: I can guarantee he will appreciate it, and you will thank yourself for taking the first step.  
TG: goddammit rose why do you have to be right all the time  
TG: fine ill go talk to him  
TT: Let me know how it goes.  
TG: yeah sure  
TG: later  
TT: Later, Dave.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

\---

Needless to say, you do not message him. At least for a little bit. You spend a few hours psyching yourself up, then talking yourself down, then psyching yourself back up again. Fucking hell, why does this have to be so hard?

You’re snapped out of your cycle when you see Karkat come online. Fuck. You shakily select his name and open a chat. Better get this talk over with quickly.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--  
TG: hey  
TG: hey karkat  
TG: karkat hey  
TG: kaaaarrrrkaaaaaat  
TG: dude i can see youre online quit ignoring me  
TG: i know im annoying but i thought we moved past this  
CG: AND YET YOU CAN’T SEEM TO SHUT UP.  
CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT.  
TG: jesus can you tone down the hostility for a few minutes i just want to talk  
CG: ABOUT WHAT?  
TG: idk dude you tell me  
TG: youre the one whose been acting like an asshole for a while now  
CG: OH, YOU MEAN MORE THAN USUAL?  
TG: karkat stop god  
TG: im being serious here  
TG: somethings up with you and  
TG: im worried about you dude  
TG: ive been trying to let it slide but enough is enough  
TG: can you just tell me  
TG: i promise i wont laugh or anything  
TG: well thats kind of an empty promise but ill do my best  
CG: NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!  
CG: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] \--

Well. That went about as well as you expected. Which is to say shit absolutely hit the fucking fan. Shit’s scattered all over the place now and it fucking stinks. It stinks like the way you feel right now.

Goddammit. God fucking dammit. You knew you shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe things would have just returned to normal if you hadn’t messaged him. Maybe you wouldn’t feel so hurt that he flat out pissed on the olive branch of broship you extended with a quivering hand. Now the branch is dead and you’re curling in on yourself and fuck, are you crying? You reach up to brush your cheek with your fingers and sure enough. God, you can’t believe how low you’ve sunk. Imagine Bro’s response to your absolute shitshow of emotions. 

You sit up. Fuck, you haven’t thought about him in a while. Now you can’t stop. You imagine his disgust when he sees how weak you’ve gotten. First, the practically zero preparation you’ve done for the battle that’s literally around the corner, then the fact that you’ve gotten too damn soft, worrying about something as stupid as this. And finally how pathetic you are for crying over some boy you care way too much about. 

But you don’t care about that. All those thoughts are just coming in full force and you can’t bring yourself to care about what Bro would think. The only thing you can’t stop thinking about is Karkat. God, it all comes back to Karkat. You hate the distance between you now and you hate that he has this much power over your emotions, just fuck. When did it get so bad? 

You recall the past couple years on this godforsaken meteor, all the times you and Karkat have gotten closer as bros. And moirails, you suppose. You still remember how nervous he was to ask you about being his moirail (haha that’s so sweet) and how you basically told him that you wanted to, and then to shut up and push play on the movie. He grumbled about you ruining the tender moment but you noticed the smile on his lips, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. You remember the talks, the cuddles, the breaking down of walls put up long ago, the intimacy, just… everything. And you miss it so fucking much, you miss HIM. Is this what it’s like to love someone???

You stop. You consider that thought. Then your face begins to flush intensely. God, it feels like your face is on fire. You groan, fall back against your bed, and roll over onto your side. Jesus Christ, this can’t be real. You can’t believe you let this lousy goddamn stupid troll worm his way into your heart and make you feel like this. But at the same time, you kind of don’t mind it. Sure, you feel pathetic, but you also feel like a weight has been lifted off your chest, that this feeling you could never put a name to finally has one.

You’re in love with your best friend. And if that isn’t the most cliche romcom thing you’ve ever said, you don’t know what is.

Goddammit.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

TG: hey just wanted to let you know  
TG: you were right  
TG: like you always fucking are  
TT: About what, exactly? I’m right about a lot of things, you’re going to have to specify.  
TG: goddammit lalonde chill  
TG: about me  
TG: and karkat  
TG: i think i like him  
TG: in a romantic way  
TG: in a gay way  
TG: oh and i think im gay too??  
TG: …  
TG: thats it no response  
TG: no i told you sos no called its  
TG: no victory dance or anything  
TT: Oh, I will be getting my snarky responses on once we finish this conversation.  
TT: What prompted this revelation?  
TG: i  
TG: i dont really know  
TG: well i messaged karkat  
TG: and he basically told me to fuck off  
TG: so i did  
TG: and i just kept thinking about how fucked up it was that him not talking or hanging out with me was making me feel so goddamn pathetic and stupid  
TT: Having emotions is not pathetic or stupid.  
TG: yeah i know that was just where my train of thought was going  
TG: anyway  
TG: god im gonna sound like an emo kid  
TG: but i just got to thinking about when things were better  
TG: like when he first talked to me about being moirails  
TG: or when we first cuddled  
TG: or when i told him about bro  
TG: or when he told me about alternia  
TG: jesus this all sounds so fucking gay now that i think about it fuck  
TG: and its about to get gayer in here rose im barfing rainbows and theyre coming out of my ass now  
TG: but i kind of notice a lot of things about him when i’m not even trying  
TG: like when he scowls at me but i can tell hes just fighting a smile  
TG: or how he gets so animated when he talks about his movies god he loves those trashy chick flicks so much  
TG: or when hes so concentrated on something and he kind of frowns and his bottom lip juts out its the cutest fucking thing  
TG: *now* whos obsessed with whos lips take a wild fucking gander  
TG: everything he does is just absolutely endearing even when it shouldnt be in the slightest  
TG: like that time when he tore open a bag of chips with his teeth for no reason i was like damn bitch thats kinda hot  
TG: that in no way should be attractive but my brain is just that fucked huh  
TG: also hes just so so soft  
TG: he has that loud and angry exterior but hes so gentle and sweet when he wants to be goddamn im a fuckin sap  
TG: hes so understanding he just gets when im having a bad time mentally and hes always there for me  
TG: and im trying to be there for him but hes not letting me  
TG: jesus i am one big disaster arent i  
TT: Wow.  
TT: You definitely have it bad.  
TG: stfu rose i know i do  
TG: now what the fuck am i supposed to do about it  
TT: If you don’t mind, I’d like to retrace our steps to an earlier point in this conversation before consoling you on your boy troubles.  
TT: You said you think you’re gay. Is it just for Karkat, or for all boys?  
TG: i  
TG: i dont really know  
TG: i mean i definitely like karkat  
TG: but i dont know about any other boys  
TG: god rose i just found out i like karkat i cant stop and think about my interactions with other boys in the past when im freaking out about one boy  
TG: i know i always liked girls but idk that might have just been me getting bro off my back  
TG: or maybe it was just because of what our fucked up society wanted me to do  
TT: Compulsive heterosexuality?  
TT: That sounds like what you’re describing.  
TG: yeah maybe  
TG: ill do more research  
TG: can we get back to the main point tho  
TG: of what the fuck im supposed to do about karkat  
TT: Of course.  
TT: I will have you know that he started spamming Kanaya with messages an hour ago.  
TT: I suppose our time together will now just have to be spent helping two bumbling idiots.  
TG: wait what  
TG: whats he saying  
TG: and what the fuck do you mean by that  
TT: Oh, nothing.  
TT: So what were your questions regarding Karkat?  
TG: well for one  
TG: what the fuck im supposed to do about him  
TG: i tried your way and he blocked me  
TG: any wise words o seer of light or are you just gonna lead me down the wrong path again  
TG: sorry im just stressed  
TT: Well, I’m afraid there isn’t much you can do. Since you said my idea didn’t work last time, I suggest you do the opposite and wait for him to come to you.  
TG: following your advice is what got me into this whole mess but sure whatever i have no other ideas  
TT: Oh, I believe something more preferable to your situation will happen this time.  
TT: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to spend some time one on one with my girlfriend without being bothered by disaster gays.  
TG: ugh fine  
TG: wait youre a disaster gay you told me how it went when you asked kanaya out  
TG: or do i need to remind you  
TT: … No comment.  
TT: And that will not be necessary.  
TT: Oh, and one more thing.  
TG: what  
TT: Told you so.  
TG: oh my god

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

God, you can’t believe her. You just wish she was here so she could see how hard you’re rolling your eyes right now. 

Now that that’s over, you’re lying on your back with your limbs spread out again. She just told you to wait so you’re fucking waiting. After approximately 3 seconds you’re bored again. 

You do not want to fucking wait. For all you know it’ll take another week until Karkat messages you and you don’t want to do that again. You contemplate jumping forward to when he does just so you have an idea of when he gets his head out of his ass and messages you. But thinking about it, you don’t want to fuck up the alpha timeline after John went through all he did to fix it. Well, the other John from the doomed timeline who can zap around to different times and places. But yeah, that’s the reason. Also thinking about time traveling again is kind of making you sick to your stomach so you decide to abandon that idea.

However, another point from the conversation with Rose comes to the forefront of your brain. Compulsive heterosexuality. You promised you’d research. Maybe that can help you understand more of what you’re feeling. And talking to Rose but you suppose you should leave her be on her date with Kanaya. You’ve already hijacked it enough with your shit, and apparently Karkat has too. So you sit up, decaptchalogue your laptop, and begin with a single search:

“‘i think im gay?”

\---

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] unblocked turntechGodhead [TG] \--

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
CG: OKAY, I THINK WE BOTH CAN AGREE THAT I’VE BEEN AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING SHITSTAIN TO YOU FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.  
CG: DURING THAT DREAMBUBBLE ONE OF MY GHOST SELVES TOLD ME SOMETHING THAT I WASN’T REALLY PREPARED FOR AND HONESTLY, IT SCARED ME.  
CG: I KNOW THAT ISN’T AN EXCUSE FOR MY BEHAVIOR BUT THAT’S BASICALLY THE REASON.  
CG: AND THE GIST OF THIS SHIT APOLOGY IS I SHOULDN’T HAVE TREATED YOU LIKE I DID AND I REALLY HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME.  
CG: …  
CG: ARE YOU THERE?  
TG: yeah im here  
CG: OH, HI  
TG: hey  
CG: SO, UH  
CG: APOLOGY ACCEPTED?  
TG: what did your ghost tell you  
CG: UM  
TG: i think i deserve to know what he said if it made you not interact with me at all and then treat me like shit when you finally decide to grace me with your presence  
TG: cmon karkat dont hold out on me here im waiting with bated breath  
CG: THIS IS SERIOUS.  
TG: im being serious  
CG: OKAY, FINE.  
CG: BUT  
TG: but  
CG: I’D LIKE TO TELL YOU IN PERSON.  
CG: CAN I MEET YOU ON THE COUCH?  
CG: IN TEN MINUTES?  
TG: sure  
TG: which couch  
CG: YOU KNOW THE ONE.  
CG: SEE YOU THEN.  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--

Well, what the fuck can you do? You want answers, he’s going to tell you, what else is there to do besides go down there and find out? You close and captchalogue your laptop, get off your bed, and head toward your favorite couch.

\---

You step into the room and walk toward the couch. When you peek over the edge, you don’t see him. Guess you must be here first then. You check your internal clock and determine you’re a couple minutes early. So you move around, plop yourself on your usual spot, pull out your phone and begin to fuck around on it while you wait for Karkat to get here. 

You’re playing a mindless game you downloaded during Karkat’s disappearance when you hear a rather loud, raspy voice greet you. “Hey.”

You already know who it is but you glance up at him anyway. 

“Hey,” you say. Now that you know you have a crush on him, you can’t help the jittery feeling that settles in your stomach as he sits down next to you. The both of you are silent for a bit. Karkat is staring straight ahead, refusing to look at you while you’re staring at his profile. You find you’re noticing all kinds of things now. You’re noticing his fluffy, untamed hair and how it falls around his face, framing it nicely. His eyebrows are furrowed in his trademark scowl. He has bags under his eyes from lack of sleep which you have bugged him about getting. They look worse and your concern for his well-being swells in you. His nose is turned up slightly at the end and you find that incredibly adorable. His teeth are poking through his lips and god, you gotta stop thinking about his lips. It occurs to you that you kind of want to kiss him and that thought makes your face burn. It also occurs to you that you should say something. “So-“

He turns to you as you speak, looking a little scared as he does. “I’m sorr-“

You both cut yourselves off and he looks away from you again. “Go ahead,” he tells you.

You shrug. “It wasn’t anything important. What were you gonna say?”

Karkat sighs deeply through his nose and faces you again. “Okay. I’m just-” he puts his face in his hands. “I’m so fucking sorry I ignored you for so long. I thought it’d be easier to just stop talking to you, but… I couldn’t.” He rakes his hands through his hair, making it wilder than it already was, and looks at you again, a glint of humor in his eye. “You’re kind of hard to ignore if you didn’t know, you asshole.”

Your mouth quirks up slightly at one side. “Thanks, I try.”

He smiles a small smile back at you, but then it fades and he hides his face in his hands again. “I just thought it’d be the best way to deal with it, but it’s not. I know that now. I need to suck it up, get my stupid shit together, and explain why the fuck my ghost is a fucking asshole for doing this to me….”

As he continues prattling on, you’ve kind of shifted closer to him of your own volition in order to comfort him. He looks on the verge of tears, you can see them pooling in his eyes and it scares you. What the fuck could his ghost have told him that made him feel like this?

“God, I wish the feature on Trollian still existed where I could make my past self sit down and fucking listen to me, that he was causing himself pain over nothing, and he needed to quit while he was ahead. Not that past me would have listened because he’s such a stupid ignoramus. But if I could, I’d try. I’d try my hardest so that both you and I don’t have to deal with the bullshit here…” The heel of his palm is pressing against his forehead as he focuses your shirt. You rest your hand on his shoulder and he looks up at you. He must have seen the concern and worry in your expression because you barely have time to open your mouth to say something before he surges forward and wraps his arms tightly around you. You’re a bit surprised but you quickly get over it and start hugging him back. 

Fuck, you missed this. It’s been so long since you two have been this close, getting your cuddle on. Even if you’re not cuddling right now. Could it be considered cuddling? You think you’re just hugging, but it could probably become cuddling if one of you made a move. But if you’re honest you’re still scared and coming to terms with your feelings for Karkat so you decide to just keep hugging him, shooshing him and gently rubbing his back. You hear one or two quiet sniffles as you hug, which makes you squeeze Karkat tighter.

You both sit there in silence for a while, which you think is the longest either of you have gone without speaking to each other. You should know, you’re the time guy. But it feels a little weird so you’ve decided you’re going to break it. “It’s okay, Karkat,” you mumble. “I forgive you.” The only acknowledgement he gives is nodding into your shirt. You rest your chin on his head in between his horns. “So now that the feelings jam is out of the way… I’m still in the dark about why, dude.”

Karkat groans loudly and peels himself away from you. His face is still a little red from crying but you’ve elected not to bring it up. “Don’t remind me, I’d just stopped thinking about it.”

You shrug. “I mean, that’s basically why I came. Not that the impromptu but way overdue hugging session wasn’t nice, but… you promised.”

Karkat levels a glare at you, though it’s one that doesn’t read as much as irritation than it does exasperation. He sighs loudly and moves away from you. And like a magnet you scoot closer to fill the empty space. God, you really are just gone for him, aren’t you?

“I don’t specifically remember if I promised, per say…” he says, trying to change the subject.

You manage to wrestle the smile you’ve got going on into a smirk. “Come on Karkat, these beans need to be spilled. These beans are specifically made to be spilled. Especially to me, who the beans are about. The beans are waiting dude, you can’t let them be unspilled, it’s their lifelong dream to be spilled. It’s what they’ve been raised since planthood to do.”

Karkat lightly slaps you on the shoulder, struggling to contain his own smile. Wow, you did that, you made him smile. You try to keep the rush of the feeling in check and somewhat succeed. “Fine, fine. As long as you won’t laugh.”

“I already promised, I’m not gonna break it.”

“Ugghh, I guess there’s no delaying on getting this stupid ball of hoofbeast shit rolling then, huh?”

You don’t say anything, waiting intently.

Karkat turns a little away from you, fuck is he nervous about this? “Well, the dreambubble had a dead me that was from the timeline that John is apparently from. The John with the retcon powers. But that dead me fucking sought me out though, he had a mission and he was going to execute it. Well guess what, you asshole! You fucking did!” He raises his middle fingers to the ceiling, before you urge him to continue. “Right, fuck. So he told me he’s been keeping tabs on how this timeline was going and he told me that there was something I still needed to do to make this the true alpha timeline. All the other pieces had fallen into place but now I had to do one more thing in order to solidify this timeline’s identity as the main one.” He pauses and you can see him trying to figure out how to phrase what he’s going to say next in his head. Then he seems to have a thought similar to “fuck it,” and he faces you again with a determined look in his eyes. “He told me that I needed to ask you to be my human boyfriend.”

You register what he says. Then you freeze. And feel your face just absolutely combust with blush. The blush train is here to take you to Blush City, population: Dave fucking Strider. No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.

“I just don’t understand why he didn’t just say ‘matesprit’, which would have made a lot more sense given the circumstances…” You can’t really hear what Karkat’s saying now because your brain has just stopped and refused to process things so you’re stuck with your face looking more and more like a ripe tomato than it should. Tomato Dave, it’s you.

Karkat has definitely been talking for several minutes now while you’ve been spacing out with the words “human boyfriend” playing on a loop in your head. You’re finally snapped back to the present when you feel a warm hand on your forearm. You blink and see Karkat looking at you in concern. How long have you been entirely zoned the fuck out, dammit.

“Are… you okay?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you squeak, then clear your throat quickly. “I mean, yeah. Totally. Who doesn’t want a bombshell like this dropped on your lap like a fucking toddler. Said toddler is absolutely kicking and screaming and you’re just like ‘what the fuck’ to whatever god there is that dropped this screaming child on your lap and the god just shrugs and fades away leaving you to deal with this toddler on your own. Meanwhile Little Timmy is flabbergasted that he’s been unceremoniously dumped on your lap when you’re clearly not his mom or any mom that would actually be able to take care of him, which is why he’s screaming his fucking head off. You’re just entrenched in that bitch of a situation now and you don’t know what to do.”

Karkat’s expression begins to shift toward panic. “You… you don’t know… what? What’s this about a human grub monkey??”

“Shitty metaphor,” you say, still frantically trying to juggle your feelings like a fucking circus clown and failing. Before you can get onto that pointless train of thought, you realize Karkat is becoming increasingly more freaked out.

“Okay I’m sorry I can’t tell what the fuck you’re feeling about this, but this is exactly why I didn’t want to bring it up! I knew you’d flip your shit and be absolutely fucking illiterate about it. It’s why I thought I should cut you off before you ended up doing it yourself. I know you have issues with your human sexuality or whatever so I thought it would be best to let it be. I didn’t want you to react badly and outright reject m- it, so I just decided I knew better and… yeah.”

You stop. You stare. “So you mean to tell me you went through all that trouble of avoidance and not talking to me because you were worried about how I’d respond? Damn, that’s peak flirting if I’ve ever heard it.” 

Karkat frowns at you. “Okay, drop the sarcasm you douchecanoe, it wasn’t just that. It was also for… more selfish purposes, I regret to admit.”

It’s your turn to frown now. “What do you mean?” 

Karkat sighs and rubs at his temple. “I MEAN, I didn’t want you to just end up being with me because some ghost or timeline whatever wanted you to. I wanted you to end up with me because you wanted to be with me for ME, and nothing else. I thought that if I just didn’t tell you, you wouldn’t be influenced by it.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “And the avoiding?”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “You and I both know how shit I am at keeping secrets, even if it’s for my own fucking good.”

“... Fair enough,” you agree. You don’t say anything for a few seconds before you smile wide. “Wait, so what you’re ACTUALLY telling me is that you just wanted me to like you without your nosy doomed ghost telling me to?” He folds his arms across his chest and looks away from you, but he can’t hide the adorable blush that’s on his face now, which proves your point. “Wow, swoon.” 

He scowls and shoves you. “Oh, fuck off.”

You rest your chin on your palm, a shit-eating grin on your face now. “Aww, I thought you didn’t want me to,” you snicker, enjoying the rage boiling on his face. “Okay, okay, but let’s be real. That whole thing? That sounded kind of, and I mean this in the most affectionate way, but…” You pause to take in the expression on his face. God, it’s hilarious and adorable in the best ways.

“Doesn’t that sound kind of gay?”

And then he’s shouting a number of obscenities at you and trying to bap you anywhere he can reach while you’re just dying of laughter. You eventually fall on your back and he follows you. When your loud laughter has been toned down to giggles, you just stare at him with a smile on your face and he’s all grumpy and cute while trying to hide his own smile, for reasons you still don’t get. So you say, “Wanna watch a movie?”

And he says, “Hell fucking yes.”

So you do. There’s a little bit of moving around to set up Karkat’s husktop and get comfortable, but you basically watch the movie with him on top of you (not in a sexual way, get your mind out of the gutter, you buffoon). Needless to say, the both of you eventually fall asleep wrapped up in each other like a couple of dorks, but who’s paying attention to that? Spoiler alert: it’s you.

\---

It’s now been a week and a half since you and Karkat remedied that whole thing you had about his dream ghost fucking over your entire relationship for two weeks. Now… you don’t really know where to go from there. You probably should say something to Karkat, but you don’t want to mess it up. He has a plan for how he wants it to go and… you’re scared how you do it won’t be how he wants it to be. 

You’re with him in Can Town right now while he’s doing more work to make up for his missed hours. He should be almost caught up, you think. This is probably the last catch up session he has to do before Can Town is back on track. While you’re fixing the landscaping again, you decide to pester Rose from your iShades.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--  
TG: hey rose you there  
TG: i need to ask you about karkat again  
TT: You know I want to help and that I want what’s best for you, but Dave. This is ridiculous.  
TT: You are being worse than I was with Kanaya, and that’s saying something. Just talk to him.  
TG: yeah but what if i mess it up  
TT: The more you think about messing up, the more likely you’re going to mess up. So stop worrying about it and talk. To. Him.  
TT: Don’t give me any other excuses.  
TT: Let me know how it goes.  
TG: okay fine but wait rose theres something else i want to tell you  
TG: not related to karkat  
TT: Alright, go on.  
TG: so ive been doing research like i said i would  
TG: about stuff  
TG: and i think im bi  
TG: like i think i do actually like girls  
TG: no comphet here  
TG: well some but when isnt there comphet  
TT: Truer words have never been spoken.  
TG: fuck yes  
TG: but i also like dudes?  
TG: i mean yeah theres karkat but ive been thinking back about my interactions with other boys like you told me to and comparing them and yeah  
TG: im pretty sure thats what i am  
TG: it feels right for me  
TT: Well, then I’m very proud of you for figuring that out.  
TT: Do you think you need more time to analyze and think about it, or do you think you’ve got it?  
TG: no i think im for sure bi  
TG: ill let you know if my brain somehow decides to switch up my attractions at any point  
TG: but im pretty sure about this  
TT: Very good.  
TT: I’m happy for you, Dave. You know that, right?  
TG: yeah i know  
TG: thanks for your help  
TG: with everything  
TT: You’re welcome, it was my pleasure.  
TG: im sure it was because you get so fucking horny for being right about everything  
TT: …  
TT: That was not something I expected to read today.  
TG: yeah i regretted that as soon as i sent it  
TG: anyways ttyl  
TT: Until then.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]\--

“Hey, Dave!” Karkat’s voice rings out as you close the chat window with Rose. “I’ve finished my hours, let’s go!”

“Yeah, okay,” you say, standing and brushing chalk dust off your god tier pajamas. “I wanna see what you did, though.”

Karkat sighs, then relents and grabs your wrist to drag you to the section he was working on. You take a few seconds to tell your lungs to get their shit together or you were gonna fucking do something. He’s just holding your wrist, nothing to get their panties in a twist about. You guess it was pretty threatening because your breathing slows down again. 

Once Karkat releases you, he waves a hand over the small expanse of Can Town he’s constructed. “Behold.”

You keep your face trained on the can buildings but you’re watching Karkat. He looks so fucking proud of himself, oh my god. “Oh, I’m definitely beholding it alright.”

Then he makes you get down on all fours and walks you through the blocks and shit he’s made. You notice the outline of the giant dick you drew a while ago and suppress a giggle. Wow, you can’t believe he left that in, what a nerd.

He takes a few minutes to lead you through before you stand up and head out of Can Town. The Mayor isn’t currently in, but you high five the drawing you made of him for this specific circumstance as you leave the room. Karkat rolls his eyes, but there’s fondness in his expression and it’s making your heart flutter.

“Soo…. what do you want to do next?” You ask, already feeling boredom creep into your bones and settle in them. “Movie?”

Karkat side-eyes you. “You just want to cuddle with me, don’t you, you bastard?”

Welp, looks like you’ve been found out. You shrug. “Yeah dude, problem?”

He sighs, but you can see the smile peeking out from his lips. “No. Let’s go.” 

And that’s how you end up on your side, laying your head against his leg while the opening of Good Luck Chuck plays on Karkat’s husktop. The both of you have seen this so many times you know it by heart. But he’s the one who just can’t refuse the opportunity to quote every line of the opening scene. You tease him about it, but you think it’s very cute when he does it.

You’re a little less than half-way through the movie when your eyes start to get droopy. Your blinks are getting longer and longer until they stop altogether. Aaand you’ve fallen asleep. Goddammit.

You guess the meteor wasn’t going through a dreambubble because you had no dreams. But you could somewhat hear the quiet whispers of the horrorterrors, which you’re ignoring. You don’t know how long you’re asleep, but when you wake up, it’s slowly. The screen looks different, darker. And you’re not seeing Dane Cook, but troll Hugh Jackman. What the fuck?

You’re about to sit up when you feel a warm weight on your shoulder that immediately stops you from thinking about moving. You can’t really see, but based on where you’re laying (against Karkat’s leg), you can assume it’s Karkat’s hand. You smile to yourself, then decide to let Karkat think you were still asleep.

You look at the screen and try to figure out what the movie is, which is harder because it’s in a language you don’t understand. But when you see troll Ashley Judd appear on screen you put together that it’s the troll version of Someone Like You. Oh my god, Karkat’s a total sap and it’s adorable.

You’re trying not to fall asleep but again, you can’t understand a thing that’s being said in the movie so you end up passing out anyway. You really should get some more sleep on your own, fucking hell.

When you open your eyes again, you’re in your apartment. You can see the shitty swords sticking out of the fridge and the stupid puppets clogging the sink. You’re moving out of the kitchen when you see a note held onto the fridge with a Batarang ninja star that fills you with dread.

bro. roof. now. bring cal.

You know you could theoretically just not go up there. But you also don’t want to find out what happens if you don’t. 

You can’t find Cal so you just go up to the roof without him. You scale the stairs one at a time to extend the amount of time you have before you end up seeing him. By the time you get up there he’s already waiting, sword in hand.

“Took you long enough,” he mutters but you can hear him all the way from here. “Let’s go.”

You nod once, pulling Caledfwlch from your sylladex and assuming a fighting stance. You blink and he’s on you, swinging his katana. You barely manage to block him before he moves to take another slash at you. Fuck, you need to get on the offensive. You shed his blade, then lunge at him. But he’s blocks and blocks until he knocks you onto your back and brings his blade down on you to cut your face. You raise yours in time to stop it, resulting in a loud clash. You try to push him off but he’s stronger than you. You can feel him getting closer to your face and then you sense a sharp pain in your cheek.

He finally lets you up and moves back to where he started. You shakily stand, reaching up to your face. When you pull your fingers away, there’s blood. “Is that the best you’ve got?” he sneers at you.

You grit your teeth and attack him again and he blocks. You’re swinging, but he keeps blocking until you’re both at a standstill where the guards of your swords have slid together and you’re holding him off. You’re about to gain the advantage, then he takes one hand off the hilt of his katana and his fist collides with your stomach. You gasp and stumble back, barely managing to block him again. You push him off of you and lunge again, but he swings and cuts into your arm deep. You yelp and fall to your knees, holding your hand over the cut. Blood is already seeping through your shirt.

“Get up.” You force yourself to stand, gingerly moving the handle of Caledfwlch to your other hand before he bears down on you again. It’s back and forth between you for a little while. You’re breathing hard and starting to feel lightheaded. You swing at him again, but he blocks and kicks you in the chest. You go flying back, hitting your head so hard against the AC unit your shades fly off your face and you see stars. He’s on you in a second. “You’re weak,” he hisses, raising his blade above his head. Before he can do you in, you wake up.

You sit up immediately, breath coming out in short gasps. You feel your cheek and it’s fine. You look to your arm and the sleeve is still intact. You face forward again, hugging yourself and trying to get your breathing under control. 

“Dave?” You jump when you feel a hand on your back. But it’s just Karkat. You turn to him and he looks so worried about you. “What happened?”

You take a shaky breath, looking at your lap. “I… I saw my bro. We strifed. He… he was gonna kill me.”

Karkat stares at you in abject horror, then pulls you into his chest. You’re kind of hunched over now but you don’t mind. The sentiment is there. You don’t know when it happens, but you start to cry. At first you’re telling yourself to pull it together, but then another part of you, a bigger part of you, tells you it’s okay. You sniffle and hear Karkat start shooshing you. You’re holding onto him tightly while he’s gently rubbing your back. God, you hope you’re not getting snot all over his sweater. That’d be the cherry on top, wouldn’t it?

When you feel like you’ve gotten it all out, you slowly pull away from him. Karkat looks at your tear streaked face and then reaches up with one hand, cupping your cheek and using his thumb to rub the tear tracks away. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore,” he murmurs, but it’s louder than a normal whisper would be. He can’t lower the volume of his voice no matter how hard he tries, you muse fondly. “He’s dead. You’re okay. It’s okay.”

You look away. “What if I see him again?” 

“Hey, look at me.” You do. “I’m not going to let that happen. Next time you’re in a situation where you have to deal with him, find me in the dreambubble. And if you can’t do that, just wake up and find me here.” He pulls your head closer and you feel him press his lips against your forehead. Your face heats spectacularly. “You’re not alone,” he says against your skin before he hugs your head to his chest, leaving you no choice but to hold onto him too. And he’s so, so warm and comforting.

You really need to talk to him about if you’re actually dating or not.

\---

You decide that since Rose has had enough of you, you might as well try Kanaya. Rose said she tells her everything so she’s probably caught up with your drama anyway. You message her while Karkat is reading one of his novels and you’re supposedly drawing another sbahj comic.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--  
TG: hey kanaya is rose there  
GA: Not Presently  
TG: okay good  
TG: i have a quick question for you  
GA: Okay  
GA: Oh Before I Forget  
GA: Congratulations  
TG: what dyou mean  
GA: About Karkat  
GA: Youve Worked Things Out With Him Havent You  
TG: thats uh  
TG: kind of what i wanted to talk to you about  
GA: Oh Dear  
TG: what what is it  
GA: Nevermind Dont Worry About It  
GA: What Is Your Question?  
TG: okay thats not suspicious at all  
TG: but i was just wondering how i should  
TG: you know  
TG: ask him out  
TG: i really dont want to mess it up but i kinda dont know what to do  
TG: and youre the closest person to him on this rock so i figured id try  
GA: Dave I Know That You Know He Talks To Me About His Problems  
GA: But I Believe The One Hes Closest To Is You  
GA: So Trust Your Heart  
GA: Think Back On What Hes Told You Hed Want In A Romantic Confession  
GA: The Best Course Of Action Would Be To Do What You Think Hed Want  
GA: This Is The Kind Of Thing That Sort Of Proves How Well You Know Him  
GA: Like In Your Human Romance Films And Novels When The Male Must Know His Matesprit Well Enough To Pick Out The Specific Ring To “Propose” With  
TG: whoa whoa  
TG: i am not proposing to him if thats what youre thinking  
GA: I Know You Arent  
GA: I Was Using That Scenario As An Example  
GA: But My Advice Would Be To Follow Your Instincts More Than Anything  
TG: still kind of vague but okay  
TG: i guess ill just come up with something and ask you if its good  
GA: Alright Do What You Must  
TG: aight later  
GA: Until Then

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--

“How’s your next bullshit comic going?” Karkat’s voice jerks you from your thoughts on the conversation with Kanaya and you look at him.

“It’s coming, dude. If I’d known you were this anxious to see it, I would’ve finished it faster,” you tease.

He rolls his eyes at you again. “I’m anxious to see what a load of shit it is,” he responds, and it leads to a back and forth about your ironically awesome webcomic. As you banter, you keep Kanaya’s words in the back of your mind and decide to come up with something when you’re not hanging out with Karkat.

\---

Okay, brainstorming has been hard to do since all you’ve done is hang out with Karkat for the past few days. Fuck, you really should take some time to think about it. You think you have some now though, because Karkat just passed out next to you while listening to one of the mixtapes you made for him. 

Okay, back to the task at hand. You need to talk to Karkat. Well, ask him out rather than talk, you suppose but whatever, the semantics don’t matter to you right now. 

You’re thinking back to all the movies he’s made you sit through and trying to remember if he’s said anything at any point about what he’d want someone to do when they ask him out, like Kanaya told you to do. But you’re drawing a blank. You pull up the conversation with Kanaya again to see if it’s unchanged. And… yep, it still says that you need to trust your instincts. But what fucking good does that do when you can’t think of anything?? You sigh, rubbing at your eyes under your shades. Maybe you should try to sleep on it and it might come to you. No, if you fall asleep now, you probably won’t have any other time to think this through.

You sigh in exasperation, throwing your head back against the giant beanbag chair you’re sitting in, which is in your room. God, why is this so fucking hard?? You want to get this done so you don’t waste anymore time beating around the bush with him. But your brain is silent, right when you actually need it to start spewing random shit. 

You’re tempted to message Kanaya again. Hell, maybe even Terezi might have some helpful hints. You just wish you had something to go off of. 

You pull your laptop closer to you and quickly type into the search bar “how do you ask your crush out when youre both dudes” and hit enter. And that yields basically nothing but it’s a start, you think. After an hour or so, you still can’t find anything that would apply to your situation. It’s literally all about girls talking about asking guys out. Fucking hell, human society.

You close your laptop a bit harshly, then captchalogue it before you can do something in a fit of anger that you might regret. Instead you just fold your arms across your chest, annoyed at your inability to come up with ideas and at the lack of good advice no matter where you look.

After you stew for a few minutes, Karkat rolls over and latches onto your arm. You glance down at him and can’t help smiling. He looks so cute. He’s even scowling in his sleep, you can’t believe it. You use your other hand to gently brush his bangs off his face, then rest your chin in the palm of your hand to take the opportunity to stare at him. Your heart’s all fluttery and your stomach’s flip-flopping, which probably isn’t that healthy now that you think about it. 

You reach up, grab the front of your cape, and pull it over your head. Then you manage to carefully bundle him up without waking him. He relaxes a little more (how the fuck was he still so uptight while sleeping??) and buries his face into your cape and you have to clutch your chest to stop yourself from falling over from how adorable that was. God, you think everything he does is adorable, don’t you?

Then your brain finally decides to helpfully supply an idea for what you should do to ask Karkat out. You grin, piecing things together in your mind quickly. Once you have it, you message Kanaya to run it by her. Aaand she has given you the go ahead.

You’re doing it. 

You’re MAKING THIS HAPEN

\---

While your plan is basically perfect, the main issue is actually getting it going. You’re kind of waiting for the perfect moment but you also think you’re just kind of nervous. Even though you’re pretty sure Karkat likes you and he’s basically told you he wanted you to want to date him on your own terms, you still aren’t sure. And it’s fucking tearing you apart. You should just be able to do it, right?? But for some reason you’re holding yourself back, waiting for something you don’t know to happen.

The day finally comes when you’re feeling it and you’re confident that it’s going to work. The both of you are in Can Town, at your suggestion, when you take a deep breath and call to him. “Hey, Karkat?”

He looks to you. “Yeah?”

And that’s when the confidence vanishes from within you, and you look away. “Uh, nothing, nevermind,” you say to him, while internally cursing yourself for being such a chicken as his expression shifts to confusion.

It takes you a couple of days to get yourself ready again, and you’re watching another movie with Karkat when you attempt to ask him. You take a breath to steady yourself, then face him once more. “Hey Karkat, uh do you want to-” 

“Hold on, can you ask me at the end of this? This is a new movie that I finally figured out how to make from one of my novels and I really want to see how it goes,” he says, not taking his eyes off the screen. You frown slightly. Is he fucking kidding you. The one time the movie you’re watching isn’t one you’ve already seen is when you’re about to pop the big question.

“Dude, you already know what’s going to happen-” you begin incredulously, then he shooshes you by shoving his finger to your lips. 

“Seeing it is different from reading it, Dave,” he responds, not moving his finger away. 

“Yeah, but the book is always better than the movie,” you mutter around his finger.

“Not when the movie is alchemized from the book, you ass.”

You give up, grumbling in annoyance as you slide down the couch so your shoulders are against the cushions. Karkat tells you to stop acting like a petulant wiggler, which you argue that you aren’t, then he says you are, you say you aren’t, and that leads to a back and forth between the two of you. It finally stops when Karkat gasps because he realizes he’s missed thirty minutes of the movie. He then rewinds it, tells you to shut up, and goes back to watching it.

You’re so incredibly bored that you end up falling asleep again and ruin your chance to execute your plan.

The next time you try, you figure that third time’s the charm, right? When you ask him to go with you someplace secret, he hesitantly agrees, eyeing you with suspicion. Which you expected. However, you’re halfway there when you run into Vriska and Terezi in the middle of one of their roleplaying expeditions. Then they somehow manage to rope you into their campaign despite both yours and Karkat’s constant protests.

At some point during that disaster Vriska picked Karkat up and flew a couple feet in the air, leading to him kicking and screaming in her arms. She laughed manaically, then said, “Dave, catch!” and your shouty troll crush was suddenly thrown up, then he was falling, screaming incoherently. You flew under him without thinking and caught him in a bridal carry. Which lead to you and him blushing like idiots while Vriska called the both of you embarrassing. Terezi cackled, then grabbed Karkat’s wrist and pulled him down the corridor once you’d set him down. You tried to escape the Scourge Sisters’ clutches but Vriska grabbed your cape and dragged you after them, leaving you to fold your arms across your chest and have your floating body be pulled along.

By now, you’re getting tired of this shit and honestly, you figure you have nothing to lose now. So, you’re sitting next to Karkat while he’s trying to mix his own music with your help when you turn to him and blurt out, “Karkat, will you come to the roof with me?” 

Well, that was not as eloquent as you would have liked. Karkat raises an eyebrow at you, then takes off his headphones. “Okay…? What’s on the roof?”

You shrug as nonchalantly as you possibly can. “Oh, you know. The floor.” You mentally facepalm. “And uh, the sky.” You mentally facepalm with your other hand. “Dreambubbles.” You nearly physically facepalm but manage to keep it together. Karkat just looks more confused than he was at the beginning of this whole thing. You sigh exasperatedly. “Can you just do it? Please?”

After a few seconds, he hesitantly nods. “Okay. Sure.” He captchalogues his headphones and gets off the bench. “As long as it’s not something weird or ridiculously fucked up. And knowing you, it’s likely to be either one or both of those things.”

You shrug, captchaloguing your laptop and turntables before following suit. “Fine, whatever you say,” you mutter before leading the way out of the kitchen. Which you did on purpose so you could frantically message Kanaya to tell her it’s happening.

You and Karkat are now walking along the hallway toward a transportalizer, which will take you to another hallway to another transportalizer, and then one more until you get to the roof. You are both silent as you go, with you frantically beginning to worry while Karkat is thinking about whatever he’s thinking about.

You’ve made it to the second hallway when you figure you should break the silence. But the silence has gotten so heavy you could cut through it with a huge ass knife. This silence is like a giant loaf of bread and you are trying to use said knife to cut through it and it’s not going anywhere. You don’t think you’ve even made a dent in it. There’s certainly a little bit of a cut but if that’s how it’s going to go, you’re going to be here all day. 

While you’re thinking about bread and big ass knives to cut it with, it’s Karkat who breaks the silence. “So, why are we going to the roof?”

You kind of shrug. “Change of scenery, I guess,” you say, which is partially the truth. You don’t know how to pick the conversation back up again so the both of you just fall silent again. You’re now at the second transportalizer, where you both zap to the next corridor from. 

Okay, now you definitely need to start talking to Karkat. About something, anything. You shove your hands into the pockets of your pants. “So, how’d that movie end?” Karkat glances at you. You clarify, “Uh, the troll one I fell asleep to.”

He rolled his eyes. “You always fall asleep to the troll ones, Dave.” 

You chuckle, rubbing awkwardly at your neck. “The most recent one, the one you made out of the book that you were so desperate to watch.”

Karkat quirks an eyebrow at you. “Oh, you mean the one where you made me lose focus on it for half an hour before I told you to shut up?” 

“Yeah, that’s the one,” you say, smiling slightly. 

Karkat shrugs. “Well, you’d know if you’d stayed up for the whole thing,” he comments, making you shove him playfully. 

“C’mon dude, you know I can’t understand Alternian and you didn’t have any English subtitles on so what the fuck was I supposed to do, wildly misinterpret the entire movie because I based my understanding of it off of their body language instead of actually hearing what they’re saying?” Karkat eyes you, but once again, you can see him trying and failing to hide a smile.

“Obviously, how else would you watch them?” The both of you laugh and you thankfully feel the tension turning down to just a simmer as you approach the last transportalizer. Before you can get on yet another long winded tangent in your head about how the simmered tension is like the simmer of a fire that awaits a cut of filet mignon to gently sear or something wild like that, you’re suddenly on the roof. And you can see the shit that Rose and Kanaya helped prepare for you.

You glance at Karkat to scope out his reaction and he definitely looks shocked. “Dave… did you do all this?” he murmurs, stepping off the platform and walking toward a blanket laid out on the floor with a picnic basket sitting on top of it. 

“Hell yeah, man.” you say as you follow him. “I put so much effort into this thing, it’s insane. I was like fuckin Michaelangelo slaving away at a canvas or a ceiling to create the perfect image of an absolutely amazing scene such as this.”

Once the two of you have settled on the blanket, you figure you should shut your mouth and get right to this thing. “Okay dude, let’s see what we’ve got in here,” you say, lifting the lid of the basket. You can see the food you asked for, as well as some of Karkat’s favorites and one other dish that Rose put in to make sure you don’t overdose on junk food like you usually do. Then your eyes fall on a shape tucked toward the back of the basket. When you pull it closer, you see it’s a bottle of wine. Attached is a note from Rose.

To help you loosen up.

You immediately grimace and stuff it in your sylladex before Karkat can see the offending object. Okay, this is fine, you’re all good now. Train wreck bypassed. Or you could say bi-passed. When you turn to face him again, he’s looking at you all fond and stuff. “What?” you ask, smiling slightly.

He shakes his head, smiling to himself. “A picnic. A fucking picnic. You are one big sap, Dave.”

You shrug. “Thanks, I try.”

When he asks what’s on the menu, you realize you should probably get the food out. Fuck, gotta stick to the plan. You haul the basket over your lap and in between the two of you and flip the lid up. Karkat gasps immediately and pulls out a bowl of weird-looking salad with blue leaves and purple tomato things and… is that grub legs?? You immediately cringe but manage to hide your disgust. Troll food is so fucking weird. 

You, on the other hand, pull out a bottle of apple juice for the both of you and then a grilled cheese for yourself. When you unwrap it and take a bite, you realize the cheese is Dorito nacho cheese flavored and your taste buds are instantly in heaven. “Oh my god,” you say through your muffled mouth. “This is the best grilled cheese I’ve ever had. My mouth is literally a chorus of angels singing in harmony about how glorious this bite of food is. God himself is looking down all like ‘oh shit, what’s this?’ and he sees what the fuck’s happening and he just understands.”

Karkat looks over at you from where he’s digging in, and raises an eyebrow. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, it’s disgusting. Also, give me a bite,” he demands, reaching toward you. You relinquish the delicious, heaven-sent sandwich to his grabby hands. They kind of remind you of crab claws for a second and you hide a snicker. He takes a bite and looks confused for a second, then looks at you suspiciously. “Why the fuck does it taste like Doritos?”

You take it back from him, a smirk on your face. “Because R-I am a genius and made the cheese Dorito-flavored.” You pause. “That’s probably the only cheese we’ll have now and I am actually so here for it.” Karkat rolls his eyes as you dig in again, finishing your grilled cheese relatively quickly. To wash it down, you pop open your bottle of the sweet elixir AJ and sip. 

“Hey,” Karkat says, prodding you with his finger. “I tried your thing so try mine.” With that, he holds up a forkful of his salad and starts moving it to you.

Your face falls. “Uh, thanks dude, but I don’t know… it looks a little weird. I don’t trust stuff that looks like that to go in my mouth cavity, who knows what could happen next.”

Karkat groans at you. “Your food was a little weird to me, Dave, and yet! I tried it!”

You sigh, resigned. “Fine. In the name of cultural exchange.” With that, you take a bite of his salad and it’s surprisingly not that bad. You do bite down on a grub leg as you chew and you kind of feel like puking as a result, but you make it through. You give a thumbs up as you swallow. “It’s okay, three stars because it had grubs in it.” 

Karkat rolls his eyes. “Most troll foods have grubs, you idiot.” 

“Yeah, I know that,” you protest, “but still. I didn’t eat bugs in my 13 years of life on Earth, what makes you think I’m gonna start now?”

Karkat raises an eyebrow at you again. “Cultural exchange, you fucknugget.”

You can’t help but snigger at the insult. “Fine, fine, whatever. I guess I’ll just be over here eating stupid grubs from now on, just for you.” The picnic continues in a similar fashion, wherein you try each other’s food and laugh at the other’s reactions.

It’s a couple hours later and you’ve finished eating, so now you’re just bantering. You finally move the basket out from between you and fall on your back using the blanket as a cushion. Karkat gives you a weird look. “Come on dude, it’ll be fun, you’ll see,” you tell him, patting the spot next to you on the blanket. With a grumble of resignation he lays down beside you and now the both of you are staring up at the sky.

There’s no stars as far as you can tell because, well, you’re travelling the Furthest Ring to the session your guardians are playing, and there’s no stars in the Furthest Ring. Just horrorterrors and dreambubbles. You guess you should have thought about that before going through with this, fuck.

“This would make more sense if there were some fucking stars here, lmao,” you tell Karkat. He looks at you.

“Did you just say ‘lmao’ out loud, you dork?”

“Possibly.” Karkat snorts, and you laugh quietly. “But anyway this was basically the gist of coming to the roof and look at that, there’s no fucking stars so I guess that ship has sunk. Like the Titanic, my fatal flaw was failing to account for the boldness of this thing and suddenly, boom. It caught up with me.” Karkat chuckles at your metaphor and you feel your chest swell with warmth and you realize you’d do anything for the troll laying next to you right now. 

The silence that falls between you is comfortable, as the both of you lie there enjoying each other’s presence. Eventually you hear Karkat sigh. “Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“Not that this isn’t great and all…” Oh fuck, here it comes. He didn’t like it, he thought this was weird and pointless, shit. “But… can I ask what you’re doing here?”

“Oh, uh,” you stutter, blushing full force now. “I… I guess I…” You run a hand through your hair, cursing at yourself for dancing around the topic at hand. You’re tangoing circles around this bitch of a topic you are super fucking nervous about.

Karkat turns his head to look at you. “You… what?”

You’re struggling how to articulate your words into a way that would make sense and you can tell he’s getting antsy. You eventually get pissed, at yourself more than anything, and just yell into the black abyss that is the sky, “Fuck, why is this so HARD??”

Karkat looks a bit taken aback at your outburst. “What do you mean, ‘this?’” He asks, curling his fingers into air quotes. 

You groan. “I mean… I just want to be open with you about my feelings and shit and I want you to be open with me but I just can’t get past this stupid fucking block in my head.” You throw an arm over your face, in a futile attempt to hide how hard you’re blushing.

Karkat rolls over onto his side facing you now. “So just be open! I promise if it’s embarrassing I won’t laugh. Unlike you and your tendency to lose your shit over my issues,” he says, but there’s no venom in his words.

You sigh. Guess you’re doing this. “Okay.” You roll over to face him now and carefully take his hand. “Karkat, you’re… so important to me. Like. In so many ways. In ways I can’t even think to describe because my brain would absolutely fry in my pan from the emotions of it. I’m not good at these things, okay? I want to be, though. You make me want to be the best me I can be. And I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it just to be sure but yeah. I’m really bad with expressing my thoughts and feelings in a way that doesn’t make me sound like a total jackass as I’m sure you already know. So I’m just going to do it, I’m ripping it off like a bandaid here to get this shit in the open and air out so it can start fucking healing instead of getting grosser and more fucked up hiding under that bandaid. So here goes.” You look up at him hopefully. “Will you please date me? In a gay way? Especially in a gay way? Will you be my boyfriend?”

Karkat looks a bit stunned. His face is growing steadily more red and confused. Wait, confused? “Uh… weren’t we already doing that?” he asks and you just about die.

“What,” you say, feeling your face grow even darker with blush. “So I didn’t have to come out here being all emotionally vulnerable to you in the first place and that was just something my brain was fucking overthinking for no real reason? Wow, that would have saved a whole lot of brain cells that got fucked up from worrying about this, goddamn.” 

Karkat pulls his hand away to raise it in the air. “I fucking told you I wanted you to date me a while ago!”

“Well I’d just realized I liked you two hours before you told me that so I was still processing my own feelings and I guess it didn’t stick!” you exclaim, sticking your hand in your hair again. God, you’re a mess, aren’t you?

Karkat stops and stares at you. “Wait,” he says. “You _like_ me?”

You stare at him dumbfounded. “Was… was that not obvious?”

He blinks owlishly. “Oh,” he mutters, looking away from you.

You smile goofily. “Oh my god, I fucking asked you out and you still weren’t sure if I liked you or not, what’s next, you’re gonna tell me you like me too or something?”

Karkat’s eyes flick up to yours again. “I do like you, you asshole! Was _that_ not obvious??”

Welp, now it’s your turn to be all sheepish. “Oh,” you say, looking down. Fuck, you are goddamn Mary with her little lamb here in all this sheepishness you have going on. “Wow, we really are fucking clueless, huh? Rose was right, I am worse than her.”

“That makes me worse than Kanaya, which is somehow lower than rock bottom,” Karkat agrees, facepalming.

The two of you are quiet for a bit, but knowing you, it doesn’t last. “So, uh… you do want to date me, right? Just to clarify?”

Karkat peeks at you through his fingers. “Yes, I’ll be your human boyfriend. As long as you’ll be my matesprit.”

“Okay,” you agree, relief washing over you. “We could probably use those interchangeably, right?”

“I suppose,” Karkat says, then his face screws up in concentration. “But, if we do say we’re matesprits, what about the times we do shit that would be considered pale? Or pitch?”

You shrug. “I don’t know dude, I figured ‘boyfriend’ would encompass all of that so that’s why I suggested it.”

“But humans only have one quadrant! How would it work then?” Karkat protests, frustrated.

“Dude, human romance is more complicated than just the one quadrant. Shouldn’t you know that by now?” you tease, poking his cheek. He waves your hand away angrily. Aww. “Anyway, human romance is like all the quadrants, rolled into one. At least I think it is. Based on what you’ve told me about quadrants. If anything, we can just bounce between them like a ball being pushed by grubby little kid hands during recess. We can get all the bouncing going, fucking bounce everywhere, we’re fucking bouncers now.” Karkat looks incredibly confused so you decide to drop that thought. “But what I’m trying to get at here is why don’t just we say ‘fuck that strict quadrant bullshit’ and do our own thing? It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it can be ours.”

Karkat stares at you. “That last sentence was… surprisingly poetic. That doesn’t excuse all the other bullshit you just spewed, but I’ll take what I can get.”

You gasp in mock offense. “How dare you offend me so?? I’ll have you know that everything I just said was poetic as shit, what the fuck Karkat, I thought you were on my side. Besides, I always sound like I’m waxing poetic at any given moment, how do you think I can rap so good?”

Karkat playfully shoves your shoulder as you snicker. But then he just kind of… leaves his hand there. Your heart starts to pick up speed as he slowly traces it closer to your neck. You swallow nervously. “I, uh,” you begin. “I wanted to talk to you about another thing too, but like…”

“Just spit it out, it can’t be more embarrassing than asking me out,” Karkat says, not rolling his eyes for once. But they do flick down to your mouth, then back up to your eyes again.

“Uh, okay,” you say awkwardly, scratching your cheek. “Um, I kinda… I kinda wanna kiss you? Like, is that-”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

“Wha-” You’re cut off as Karkat grabs the front of your cape and yanks you over to him and he’s kissing you. And he’s kissing you and he’s kissing you. You’re too surprised to even enjoy it until he pulls away from you all too soon, a little short of breath. You’re pretty dazed as he does, and it takes you a couple seconds to come back down to Earth. Or the meteor, you suppose. When you do, he’s staring at you worriedly.

“Uh, are you okay?” he asks. “Was that fine for me to do?”

You nod vigorously. “Oh yeah, that was more than fine, holy fucking shit, dude. You have like effectively shut me up, look at what you’ve done. There goes the trademarked Strider coolness, the ice cube that is my brain has been vaporized by your hotness. How could you do this to me, Karkat, you destroyed the one thing I had going for me. I thought we were boyfriends.”

“Oh my god, shut up, I’m trying to kiss you here!” Karkat exclaims, which actually does shut you up, because fuck, that’s what you were doing.

“Oh shit, right, sorry. Carry on,” you say, still absolutely flustered. He shakes his head but he’s smiling so you figure it’s alright.

When he pulls you toward him to kiss you again, you’re ready this time. Your lips collide and it’s the best feeling in the world. As you’re kissing, your hand somehow ends up on his arm and you’re holding onto him like a lifeline. And he’s holding onto your neck now, so there’s that too.

You’re shifting your head to get a better kissing angle when your shades bump against his nose. It’s more of a nuisance than anything until it continues happening. That forces you to unhook yourself from the liplock, muttering “hold on” as you slide your shades up onto your head. Once it’s secure, you go right back in, kissing him harder. God, you’ve been waiting so long for this. Both of you are kind of fumbling for what to do with your hands but it’s fine, you both are inexperienced and only getting more experience. 

Karkat has rolled over so he’s on top of you now, kissing you desperately while winding his fingers in your hair. You’re kind of letting him take the lead, urging him with hums from your throat and squeezes on his shoulder with your hand. 

It’s getting a little too hot and heavy for you now so you kind of slowly start to pull away from him. He eventually obliges, sneaking a few more pecks to your lips before you open your eyes to stare at each other. He smiles at you, laughing a little as he buries his face in your chest. You’re laughing now too, wrapping your arms around him. “Damn. You’re good,” you say and you feel more than hear it when he laughs harder.

“Shut up,” he mutters to you, which makes you laugh louder yourself.

You and Karkat get yourselves a bit more situated, with him curled up against your side and wrapped in your cape. Even though you’re laying on the blanket, the cold hardness of the floor is seeping into your body and it’s quickly becoming more uncomfortable compared to where you could be. So after a few minutes, you give Karkat’s shoulder a shake. “Hey, Karkat. Wanna go to my room?” 

He looks up at you, eyes a little bleary. “Yeah, sure,” he says, then nuzzles against your side again. You swear, this troll boy is going to be the death of you. 

You reach around, barely being able to grab the picnic basket, which you captchalogue. You then gently slide your arms under Karkat, lifting him up off the ground. After he’s secure in your arms, you put the blanket in your sylladex. You look at Karkat’s cute face and decide that walking was going to be more disturbing for his sleepy state so you’re going to fly. Fly like a G-6.

You lift yourself off the floor and glide to the transportalizer, disappearing and reappearing at the next one. You’re barely down the hall when you see Rose and Kanaya leaning against the wall. Well, you see Kanaya first because she’s glowing, then Rose. When she sees you she has a knowing smirk on her face. “I take it things went well?” she asks, while Kanaya is looking a bit more hopeful.

You frown at your ectosister. “It actually did, thanks for asking. Do you want your shit back?”

“Please,” Kanaya says, and you give the blanket and basket back to her. You see the bottle in your sylladex and you face Rose, annoyed.

“Oh, here’s this.” You decaptchalogue it and drop it in her hands. “I was not gonna get him drunk, for your information.”

Rose looks a bit taken aback, but it only lasts for a second before she fixes her composure. “Very well, as long as you don’t need it….” Kanaya then frowns at Rose and takes the bottle away from her, leading her to protest quietly.

You roll her eyes. “Whatever, thanks for your help, you guys. See ya,”

“See you.”

“Until next time, Dave.”

You leave the two girls to their own devices, deciding to pick up speed so you don’t run into Vriska or Terezi. That’d probably not help the situation at all. And by that you mean they’d call you love birds (which you are, but they don’t need to know that). You’ve still got a reputation to uphold, fuck. After a few turns down hallways and one double back, you go into your room and lock the door. You gently lay Karkat on your bed before you settle beside him.

You’re scrolling through your phone with Karkat curled up against your side when he asks you, “Did you really ask Rose and Kanaya for help?”, which scares the living shit out of you, leading you to fall off your bed and hit your ass against the metal floor. 

He peeks over the edge of the mattress, smirking like he’s caught you red-handed. You frown at him. “Dude, what the fuck, I thought you were asleep.”

“Well, I wasn’t,” he says, sitting up. “But did you?”

“Okay, so I did, is that a problem?” You ask, folding your arms across your chest. “I just wanted to make sure things went well, and I don’t really trust my judgement when it comes to things like this.”

Karkat snickers. “While that’s incredibly sweet, it also makes you a nerd.”

“Hey, I’m not a nerd, I’m cool,” you say indignantly.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “You said all your coolness was evaporated by my hotness so therefore you are no longer cool.” Your frown deepens, because fuck, you did say that, and he laughs at you.

“Okay, whatever. But either way, it still makes you a bigger nerd cause you just made out with me for half an hour.”

He blinks then grumbles to himself and you know you’ve won. So you sidle up to him with a shit-eating grin, poking him wherever you can reach. “Yeah, you made out with me for half an hour, so that automatically equates you to nerd standards. Time to face the facts, Karkat, you’re a nerd through and through.”

“I’m not a nerd!” he exclaims, grabbing your hands.

You giggle. “Suuure, whatever you say Nubs McNerdVantas.”

He groans at you but you can see the red in his cheeks. “Can we just move on from this shit??”

You chuckle. “Haha, okay dude.” You don’t say anything for a total of five seconds. “Wanna watch a movie?”

He narrows his eyes you. “Will you fall asleep?”

You smile wide. “Dude, I don’t think I can fall asleep now, I’m on top of the world. Life is good and I’m feeling great cause I have you.”

He raises an eyebrow at you, but you can tell he’s blushing. “You. Are. A. Sap. And do you promise not to fall asleep even if I start ‘In Which Two Trolls That Are Involved In A Kissmesistude Are-’”

“Yes, yes, even that one, you don’t need to say the whole title,” you interrupt, poking him on the head. He looks at you incredulously, then relents.

The both of you get comfortable and while Karkat sets up the movie, you reach under your bed and pull out a rolled up bag of Doritos. Karkat looks disgusted. “Okay, how long has that been there.”

You shrug. “Chill, it’s only like a week old.”

“We literally JUST had a picnic, how the fuck are you hungry again??”

“Hey, making out with you took up a lot of energy, leave me alone.” You pointedly look over at him over your shades, roll open the bag, and stick your hand in. Karkat narrows his eyes at you. You pull out a chip and bite down on it with a satisfying crunch. He then sighs and flops against you, defeated. Awww, yessss. 

You smile at him. “Thanks, Karkat,” you say before leaning over and giving him a lil smooch on the cheek.

“Yeah, yeah,” he responds, leaning over and hitting ‘play’ on the movie and you’re pretty sure it was the one you fell asleep to. Well, the latest one you fell asleep to. Anyway, he wraps your cape around himself and cuddles up to your side. You wrap your arm around him and get all comfy as the movie starts.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please feel free to leave a kudos and a comment if you enjoyed this and want more like it, I live for feedback ^^
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr too: @spaced-out-cats


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